Exploring any type of sexual kink or fetish will always require consent and patience.Īnd BTW, it's okay if it's a bit awkward at first, says Holly Richmond, PhD, a certified sex therapist based in New York. “Share articles, videos, books, and information from sex researchers, academics, educators, and therapists normalizing and supporting your interest.” You essentially want to put their fears and anxieties at ease. “Set aside time for this conversation when you are both relaxed and when you are getting along,” Pomeranz suggests.Īnd make sure to come informed: “Do your research and share well-informed and reliable information,” adds Pomeranz. If you’re interested in exploring a kink or sexual fetish with your partner, communication is key.

And fetishes often involve impulses that puzzle the masses: Bees all over your genitals? Unbounded attraction to vomit? But the brain wants what it wants. Plus, there's a lot of sexual shame in our culture when it comes to vanilla sex, much less the kinkier variety. ( Orgasms, of course, floods the brain with dopamine, the neurotransmitter that regulates motivation and pleasure.)įetishes get stigmatized because they're reasonably rare. Or, grouping an object or body part together with orgasm might prompt a person to seek out that same object or body part in the future because the brain expects the same reward, Lehmiller adds. A person might see a particular stimulus-like, say, a boot-while they're sexually aroused, and eventually come to associate arousal with boots. “A kink is a broader term that includes a variety of sexual interests, behaviors, preferences, and fantasies that are thought to be outside of the mainstream.”Īlso worth noting: Fetishes and unusual sexual interests develop gradually, says Justin Lehmiller, PhD, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and the author of Tell Me What You Want. “A fetish is a sexual attraction to inanimate objects, body parts, or situations not commonly viewed as being sexual in nature,” Pomeranz sasy.

But what exactly are fetishes and sexual kinks-and why do people have them?įor starters, all fetishes are kinks, but not all kinks are fetishes, according to sex therapist Kelifern Pomeranz, PsyD. But, there's basically a bottomless well of sexual kinks and/or fetishes that turn people on. You've definitely heard of foot fetishes and bondage.

Checklist of bdsm kinks